quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
