whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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