We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
