Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
