I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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