So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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