Where is the hickey?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
