Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
