Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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