hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
