Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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