I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
