I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize