Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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