Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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