Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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