the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
