dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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