also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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