Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
