he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
