Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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