My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
