No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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