we have officially lost it.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
