Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
