Just took my morning after pill in the library
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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