im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
