They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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