what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
