Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
