Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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