Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
then he tried to convert me to islam
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
