Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
