there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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