I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
