my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
