im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
