Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
