Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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