It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
