Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
