But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
