AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
