so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
