actually, I'm a sock model
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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