Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
