i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She even gives head with a lisp.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
