I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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