Say something about gay babies.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
