You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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