omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
