the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
