i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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