in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
